It’s official. Well, sort of. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration now says it is okay to eat tomatoes after all—just don’t eat the rest of the food that is out there!

Of course, the FDA didn’t actually say that, but it might as well have. After months of people all across America coming down with salmonella, and the feds saying they believed the cause was tainted tomatoes, the same “experts” today said tomatoes are apparently safe…but some peppers might not be.

In other words, they don’t really know!

So, that sort of narrows it down to a few hundred thousand possible food items.

There is only one way, America, to keep safe: don’t eat or drink anyting…not even water…till the government finally figures out what the heck is going on.