As we wait for New York Governor Eliot Spitzer to resign, which he will, and soon, a key question remains unanswered: People seem so shocked to learn about Spitzer’s true nature. What happens when they find out that Santa abuses cocaine?

I know what you are saying: “Santa abuses cocaine? Getoutahere! But, nothing is what it seems and it seems as if just about everyone has a sleazy side, except me, of course.

And, it’s not just Santa who is not what he appears to be ,which, I admit, is nothing more than a fat dude in a red outfit. Others are also hiding their true nature, waiting to be revealed by the F.B.I or C.I.A or the Fox News Channel.

Mary Poppins, for example, is a whore. That’s right. Bet you didn’t know that! Why do you think she keeps getting hired by all those all male households? Use some common sense. Poppins ain’t no lady.

And, what about the Easter bunny? Ever wonder what he does the rest of the year? Bet you didn’t know he hides out in Europe gambling away millions in laundered drug money!

Or, how about Mickey Mouse? Bet you didn’t know he is a convicted sex offender not allowed anywhere near kids, which is a problem at Disneyland.

So, don’t be so shocked that Eliot Spitzer, the sheriff of Wall Street, as he was known, is a lying,fraud. Jesus, even Barack Obama isn’t telling the full truth about his life!

Bye Spitzer. If you find yourself with time on your hands (or serving time?) I hear Poppins is a blast to be around!