Put United Airlines Out of Business: We Need Obama and Clinton’s Help

Posted on February 17, 2008
Filed Under commentary |

Okay, listen up Barack and Hillary and John and Huck. Want to score real points with voters?

Easy.

Help put United Airlines out of business and out of its misery.

United has just announced that starting May 1st, it is going to charge passengers with domestic nonrefundable economy tickets $25 if they wish to check a second bag!

United has already stopped giving passengers food,blankets,pillows,fresh and clean headsets,clean bathrooms, on-time departures, and happy crew members.

This,though, is going way too far.

United is a so-called legacy airline..going back just about to the dawn of aviation. It once, in fact, was owned by Boeing until the government decided that the same company making the planes shouldn’t also be flying them. Hence, United was born.

Now, it is time for United to fold its wings and go away.

To help bring this about, I propose the following:

  1. If you can help it, don’t fly United. Walk if you have to.
  2. If you do have to fly United, make the experience for them as horrible as they make it for you:
    1. When you go to the check-in counter, make believe you can’t speak English;
    2. Make them explain each and every tax they impose…..twice (remember you don’t speak English)
    3. Pretend you and your entire family need wheel-chairs
    4. Get sick on the plane and vomit all over the floor
    5. Spend the entire flight in the one bathroom that works on the plane
    6. Bring the worst smelling food you can find on board the plane.
    7. Only fly United when you have gas

FLY ANY OTHER AIRLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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