How To Politely Tell Iran You Are Going To Nuke ‘Em

Posted on June 5, 2007
Filed Under Media Advice |

Leave it to the Republican Party presidential candidates in the U.S. to put it bluntly on the table–during a debate today, at least two of the candidates said a tactical nuclear strike against Iran could be the only way to stop Iran from building its very own nuclear weapon.   Nice!   A “tactical” nuclear strike is one of those Pentagon invented words to hide the fact that when it comes to nuclear weapons ,you are about as tactical as a sledge hammer for brain surgery.

But,hey,someone had to say it since Bush has been dancing around the issue.

Surely there must be a way to send the message politely to the Iranians that if they keep it up they just might be headed for one of those mushroom cloud mornings.

Everyone knows it is not polite to talk behind someone’s back or as if they are not in the room. So, why don’t the candidates just email Iran’s president and tell him he’d best bundle up for the coming nuclear winter?

How about sending the religious leaders who really make the decisions in Iran one of those new edible flower arrangements made from fruit? Who doesn’t like fruit? And, besides, it would show we have a sense of humor when it comes to blowing them up.

Of course, the most “polite” way to inform the president of Iran about impending doom is to “invite” him for a ride on one of those nifty U.S. military planes and take him for a nice vacation to one of the new top secret “spas” dotted across Central Europe. Many polite methods there to let him know he is about to be nuked.

Obviously, you could dispense with all the “politness” and simply drop the big one on them and watch the sparks and burnt skin fly–from a distance.

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